Obituaries

Ann Tripodi
B: 1926-06-05
D: 2017-08-17
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Tripodi, Ann
Grazyna Radoszek
B: 1956-09-05
D: 2017-08-17
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Radoszek, Grazyna
Thomas Rich
B: 1939-12-06
D: 2017-08-17
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Rich, Thomas
Vito Paradiso
B: 1931-06-13
D: 2017-08-17
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Paradiso, Vito
Jay Tamburo
D: 2017-08-16
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Tamburo, Jay
Salvatore Insogno
B: 1947-12-15
D: 2017-08-16
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Insogno, Salvatore
Assunta Gilbert
B: 1972-05-24
D: 2017-08-15
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Gilbert, Assunta
Giovanni Ragone
D: 2017-08-11
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Ragone, Giovanni
Giuseppa Belmonte
B: 1922-06-13
D: 2017-08-11
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Belmonte, Giuseppa
Vito Borzumato
B: 1929-01-20
D: 2017-08-10
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Borzumato, Vito
Sawatee Bharath
B: 1945-11-23
D: 2017-08-08
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Bharath, Sawatee
Angelina Edell
D: 2017-08-06
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Edell, Angelina
Milton James Sr.
B: 1937-01-27
D: 2017-08-05
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James Sr., Milton
Joseph Benoit
B: 1955-10-02
D: 2017-08-04
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Benoit, Joseph
Eugene Mirabella
D: 2017-08-04
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Mirabella, Eugene
Eugene Mirabella
B: 1931-01-01
D: 2017-08-04
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Mirabella, Eugene
Agnes Marano
D: 2017-08-03
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Marano, Agnes
Delmond James
B: 1950-05-10
D: 2017-08-03
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James, Delmond
Carol Spero
B: 1944-02-16
D: 2017-08-02
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Spero, Carol
Fritz Torchon
B: 1922-05-09
D: 2017-08-01
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Torchon, Fritz
Vincent Sottile
D: 2017-07-31
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Sottile, Vincent

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Bereavement Stages - The Process of Grieving and Healing

bereavement stages personNo one is prepared for the bereavement stages. The rush of feelings, the thoughts, anxieties, and heartache can take us by surprise and drive us to our knees. Yet, when we choose to harness that power for self-growth, amazing things can happen. Good can come from pain.

Sigmund Freud first brought up the concept of grief work in 1917, and today the idea that bereavement is purpose-driven continues.

Dr. James Worden chose to see the work of bereavement as task-oriented:

  1. To accept the reality of the loss
  2. To process the pain of grief
  3. To adjust to a world without the deceased
  4. To find an enduring connection with the deceased in the midst of embarking on a new life

Your current job is to focus your attention on achieving each of those goals. It will not occur in any logical order; each of us is different and the path we walk in the bereavement journey is not a straight one.

Dealing with the process of grieving and healing is hard work. It takes both courage and hard work to successfully adapt to the loss of a significant person in your life.

6 Stages of Grief 

Dr. Stephen Joseph identifies 6 bereavement stages to facilitate posttraumatic growth. He reminds readers too that "posttraumatic growth does not imply the absence of emotional distress and difficulties in living. It does imply that it is possible through the struggle to come out on the other side, stronger and more philosophical about life."

Before identifying these six stages of grief, Dr. Joseph reminds his readers of three very important things:

  • You are not on your own
  • Trauma is a normal and natural process
  • Growth is a journey

He also provides a fundamental rule: don't do anything you might not be able to handle now. "If you experience intense emotions, become physically upset, or begin to panic...stop." He gently reminds readers that "having a sense of personal control over your recovery is important. There might be some things you do not feel ready to handle now, but in time, as you discover new strength and develop new coping skills, this will likely change." 

process of grieving and healing flowerStage #1: Taking Stock
Are you physically well? Are you getting enough sleep and eating the right foods for optimum health? Have you received the kind of medical, legal, or psychological help you need? What is your current condition: physically, spiritually, and emotionally?

Stage #2: Harvesting Hope
People traumatized by loss often feel hopeless. It's hard to get up in the mourning and thinking about the future sparks pessimism and negativity. Find inspiration in the stories of personal growth written by others; set goals and practice hope as you set out to achieve them.

Stage #3: Re-Authoring
Learn to tell your story differently. Take the victim mentality out of the story of loss you tell yourself and others and replace it with the word survivor to return to a sense of control over your life.

Stage #4: Identifying Change

Keeping a daily diary can help you to see the small changes within more easily. You can also track those moments when you feel at your best and identify the conditions that brought them about. Identify and nurture the positive changes in your life throughout your bereavement journey.

Stage #5: Valuing Change
Review these changes, identifying the ones that you'd like to continue to nurture. Personal transformation requires it. Growth is encouraged when we take time to think about what we have gained from loved ones and when we find a way to use what we have learned to give to others.

Stage #6: Expressing Change in Action
Express your growth in new behaviors or, more simply, put your growth into action. When you think in terms of concrete actions, it helps make the growth experienced within your bereavement real to you.

"By focusing on these 6 stages of grief," writes Dr. Joseph, "you will find that your posttraumatic growth is beginning to take root."

6 stages of grief sunset

Sources: 
Freud, Sigmund. On the History of the Psycho-Analytic Movement Papers on Metaphyschology and Other Works.
Worden, James. Grief Counseling & Grief Therapy: A Handbook for the Mental Health Practitioner

Fleming, Stephen. The Changing Face of Grief: From 'Going On to 'On-Going''
Joseph, Stephen. What Doesn't Kill Us: the New Psychology of Posttraumatic Growth